Only in America…

It doesn’t get any better than this on a slow news day:

(http://www.anorak.co.uk/strange-but-true/204936.html)

School Pool Evacuated Because Of Chlorine Smell

IN the Chicago Sun Times:

A North Side high school has been evacuated as a precaution after a chemical was found in the school Monday morning.

Chemical?   A Level 1 HazMat situation was called about 10:45 a.m. at Senn High School at 5900 N. Glenwood Ave., according to Fire Media Affairs spokesman Quention Curtis.  The school was evacuated as a precaution after a chemical believed to be chlorine was found near the pool, Curtis said.

Chlorine? Near a pool?  How odd!

Analysis: TelePrompTer telegraphs Obama caution

Ron Fournier – Washington bureau chief for The Associated Press.

WASHINGTON (AP) — What kind of politician brings a teleprompter to a news conference?

A careful one.

President Barack Obama took no chances in his second prime-time news conference, reading a prepared statement in which he took both sides of the AIG bonus brouhaha and asked an anxious nation for its patience.

“There are no quick fixes,” he said, “and there are no silver bullets.”

It’s an interesting dichotomy: Obama came before the nation to sell one of the most expensive and politically risky agendas ever offered by a U.S. president, but his language was heavy with caution. A hard-willed plan given a soft sell.

Served up opportunities to lead with his heart, Obama was cerebral. Cool and calming in a time of white-hot public anger.

“You know, there was a lot of outrage and finger-pointing last week, and much of it is understandable,” Obama said of the bonus issue in his opening remarks. “I’m as angry as anybody about those bonuses that went to some of the very same individuals who brought our financial system to its knees.”

“Bankers and executives on Wall Street need to realize that enriching themselves on the taxpayers’ dime is inexcusable, that the days of outsized rewards and reckless speculation that puts us all at risk have to be over,” the president told reporters and the nation.

But he didn’t look angry. Nor did he sound much like a pitchfork-wielding populist.

“At the same time, the rest of us can’t afford to demonize every investor or entrepreneur who seeks to make a profit. That drive is what has always fueled our prosperity, and it is what will ultimately get these banks lending and our economy moving once more,” he said.

It was a carefully modulated statement, and Obama — relying on a familiar crutch — read it off a flat-screen monitor perched at the back of the East Room.

The teleprompter was no help during the question-and-answer session (reporters don’t signal their intentions), but Obama was no less careful during that give and take.

Asked why people should trust government with the regulatory authority to take over failing financial companies such as troubled insurer American International Group Inc., Obama passed on the chance to demonize Washington.

“Keep in mind, it is precisely because of the lack of this authority that the AIG situation has gotten worse,” Obama said. He then gave a scholarly explanation of how the proposal would work.

Pressed again, Obama cited the Federal Deposit Insurance Corporation’s handling of the IndyMac Bank as an example of government properly using its authority.

The government did something right? That’s news to most Americans.

Still, it’s hard to criticize Obama’s communication skills or tactics. Polls show that while the public has turned against Washington and Wall Street, the president’s ratings remain steady.

He has aggressively delivered his cautious message — through town halls, talk shows, travel and, yes, prime-time news conferences. His message: Stick with me and my $3.6 trillion budget.

“This is a big ocean liner, it’s not a speedboat. It doesn’t turn around immediately,” he said Tuesday night. “But we’re in a better, better place because of the decisions that we made.”

Calm. Cool. Careful.

One of the few times he summoned raw emotion came after a reporter demanded to know why it took him so long to express outrage over the AIG executive bonuses.

“It took a couple of days because I like to know what I’m talking about before I speak.”

Even better, he likes to have it up on the teleprompter.

Does Tide Remove Salsa Stains? Or, How I survived the President’s speech

02/25/09

In my preparation to listen to the President address Congress I surveyed the space around me and removed all sharp objects and any item that could cause damage to my TV.  Then I opened my bottle of xanax, popped a beer, and sat down with my chips and salsa.  I was determined not to let his speech ruin what could otherwise be a pleasant evening.

I once heard a psychologist posit that chronic lateness was based in arrogance.  That even a person who is chronically late will accidentally arrive on time once in a while unless they have issues of narcissism.  I pondered that lesson as news analysts informed me that Obama was late.  The leader of the free world, who literally shuts traffic down when he decides to go somewhere, could not arrive to a joint session of congress, with the entire world watching, on time.  When the gentlemen finally announced the president’s arrival I half expected the lights to dim, heavy bass pounding music to blare, and spot lights to encircle him as he made his way down the red carpet shaking hands and receiving accolades from his loyal minions.  It took him so long to walk down the aisle that I had time to go pee and pop another beer.

As he began his speech, it occurred to me that my wide-screen TV was entirely too wide.  I realized that I was going to have sit there with Pelosi’s botox riddled face and Biden’s veneer toothed grin for an hour.  My eyes fixed on the silver tray and crystal water glasses in front of the pair and I concluded that their overly enthusiastic applause and face splitting grins could only be attributed to vodka.  So, I went to the kitchen and poured myself a shot.

As I began munching on my chips and salsa the President said,  “As soon as I took office, I asked this Congress to send me a recovery plan by President’s Day that would put people back to work and put money in their pockets. Not because I believe in bigger government – I don’t.”  THE HELL YOU DON’T, I screamed.   ” Not because I’m not mindful of the massive debt we’ve inherited – I am.”   YOU DEMOCRATS CREATED THIS MESS!   As I screamed and thrust my fist at him as though he could actually feel my air-punches I dropped a salsa laden chip on my shirt.

I’m not sure if it was the beer, vodka, or xanax but at some point the President’s voice and cadence began to hypnotize me.  I was reminded of Neil Boortz during the campaign who, with an expert, explained why Obama’s speeches are so mesmerizing and why those who are susceptible to hypnotism are enamored by Obama.  Seems Obama had assembled a team of oratory coaches, long before we knew who he was, and received Hollywood style acting lessons in speech giving.  His speeches utilize inflection and pace to have the listener’s mind focus on key words and phrases rather than on the substance, or lack thereof.

Just as I snapped my mind back to the speech I saw Pelosi give one of her famously ugly smirks.  The words of a classic country song came to mind as I considered how much vodka it would take for her to “look pretty at closing time.”

For nearly an hour the President continued in his rhetoric.  At several points he extended a hand to Republicans only to sucker punch them with his next statement.  Once again my mind wandered and I turned my attention to the salsa stain on my shirt.  “I wonder if Tide Stick will get this out.”

The President finally brought his self-indulgent speech to a close.  And as the commentators lauded his oratory skills and praised him for his positive(?) tone I realized there are several things I have to be thankful for:

First, my TV survived unscathed.  Second, I discovered that no amount of alcohol can trick me into thinking Pelosi is pretty.  Third, Tide does in fact get salsa stains out.  Most importantly, I learned that no matter how mad or angry I get at Obama, no matter how much I yell and scream at him, and no matter how dire things may appear; having my kitten jump into my arms and lay there with complete trust and abandon puts my world back in focus.  I know that with my family and our love for one another we will survive this madness called an Obama Administration.

Porkulus Part Deux

02/24/09

While Obama was on TV all day spewing his rhetoric about fiscal responsibility and cutting the Federal deficit in half, House Democrats introduced a $410 billion spending bill.  Associated Press  reports:

WASHINGTON (AP) -House Democrats unveiled a $410 billion spending bill on Monday to keep the government running through the end of the fiscal year, setting up the second political struggle over federal funds in less than a month with Republicans.

The measure includes thousands of earmarks, the pet projects favored by lawmakers but often criticized by the public in opinion polls. There was no official total of the bill’s earmarks, which accounted for at least $3.8 billion.

The legislation, which includes an increase of roughly 8 percent over spending in the last fiscal year, is expected to clear the House later in the week.

Democrats defended the spending increases, saying they were needed to make up for cuts enacted in recent years or proposed a year ago by then-President George W. Bush in health, education, energy and other programs.

Republicans countered that the spending in the bill far outpaced inflation, and amounted to much higher increases when combined with spending in the stimulus legislation that President Barack Obama signed last week. In a letter to top Democratic leaders, the GOP leadership called for a spending freeze, a step they said would point toward a “new standard of fiscal discipline.”

Either way, the bill advanced less than one week after Obama signed the $787 billion economic stimulus bill that all Republicans in Congress opposed except for three moderate GOP senators.

Apart from spending, the legislation provides Democrats in Congress and Obama an opportunity to reverse Bush-era policy on selected issues.

It loosens restrictions on travel to Cuba, as well as the sale of food and medicine to the communist island-nation.

In another change, the legislation bans Mexican-licensed trucks from operating outside commercial zones along the border with the United States. The Teamsters Union, which supported Obama’s election last year, hailed the move.

The Bush administration backed a pilot program to permit up to 500 trucks from 100 Mexican motor carriers access to U.S. roads.

The legislation covers programs for numerous Cabinet-level and other agencies, and takes the place of regular annual spending bills that did not pass last year as a result of a deadlock between the Bush administration and the Democratic-controlled Congress.

Congressional expenses are included. The bill provides $500,000 for what is described as a Senate “pilot program” that will defray the cost of mass mail postcards to households notifying them of a nearby town meeting to be attended by any senator.

There’s Always More to the Story…

02/23/09

As we found out the truth about Henrietta Hughes after her plea for a house, car, blah, blah, blah… we are also finding out more about the woman, Donna Hanks (see Thou Shalt Not Covet Your Neighbor’s House here) who, with ACORN, stole a house (they claimed they were taking her foreclosed house back as a protest).  Michelle Malkin found out more details about this deadbeat.

Hanks bought the two-story home in the summer of 2001 for $87,000. At some point in the next five years, she re-financed the original home loan for $270,000.  After which she went $10,500 in arrears (no surprise there) and as foreclosure proceedings began she filed Chapter 13.  As part of the bankruptcy, she agreed to re-pay the amount in arrears thus, halting the foreclosure.  She then proceeded to neglect her agreed to repayment plan and was issued a notice of default on nearly $7,000.  During this time, she continued to collect rent on her basement.  She had two years to pay back what she owed.

Are you disgusted yet?  If not, I suspect you will be as more stories of deadbeats emerge while you continue to work and pay your bills and mortgage.  It is people like this Donna Hanks that Obama will be bailing out with your hard earned money!

There is a bright spot to this story.  The owner of the home that was broken into (yes, broken into; I refuse to gloss this over by calling it a protest) is suing ACORN and the ACORN official who cut the padlock on the house is facing a burglary charge.

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