Posted by Dave on September 1, 2009 · Leave a Comment
Pay no attention to the flashing blue lights. That’s just the internet police.
Oops. It’s gone beyond that. It’s now a bonafide INTERNET EMERGENCY and the only solution to that is the big red “EASY” button carried in the briefcase that’s always with the president – you know, the one that has the Nuclear code keys.
According to a newly revised bill assembled by aides to Sen. Jay Rockefeller, the president simply needs to declare a “Cybersecurity-Emergency,” and just like that, out pops the big red “Easy” button. One press of that fist-sized button and the entire internet just goes “poof.”
Yep. Just like that. Except for the “Easy” button. I made that part up.
Screw the whole 55-page draft of S.773 – who has time to read all that stuff anyway? Not even our Congressmen can make it through all that drivel, so here’s the highlights:
1. In the event to an immediate threat to strategic national interests involving compromised Federal Government or United States critical infrstructure information system or network –
a. may declare a cybersecurity emergency and
b. may if the president finds it necessary for national defense and security, and in coordination with relevent industry sectors, direct the national response to the cyber threat and the timely restoration of the affected critical infrastructure information system or network… blah, blah, blah.
Ok, I actually added the blah, blah part, too. But one could see where basement geeks are all running scared, digging bomb shelters and trying to cram in all their Trekkie paraphernalia. It’s scary stuff. I mean, we won’t be able to access our Warcraft accounts, or visit with our favorite idiot bloggers – like me.
Our computers will be instantly thrust back into the dark ages, where they could play endless games of “pong,” or be programmed with useless Artificial Intelligence programs which will simply answer a question with a question, or with something vague and unrelated – kind of like our Congressmen, President and his administration are doing when they speak to the public these days.
Makes you wonder doesn’t it? Remember the old TV show “The Six Million Dollar Man?” Remember the bad guys in that – they were actually girls, called “fem-bots.” Yeah, I know. Totally politically incorrect, but it was cool at the time… and it kind of explains Nancy Pelosi. Like, maybe she’s just some kind of AI construct, programmed with the silly vague, unrelated and insulting answers that we often hear and see in sound bites.
“Astroturf, astroturf, astroturf,” she keeps saying, stuck in a loop, like they bought the circuitry for her from North Korea.
It explains a lot. But has nothing to do with the “Easy” button. Yeah, let’s focus on what’s important here. I don’t want my Apple Powerbook to suddenly be transformed into a wordprocessor, or a glorified i-Tunes platform, even though that’s pretty much what it is right now, anyway.
I want my internet – uninterrupted, unsullied, undiluted – mostly every “un” except for “unplugged.” But that’s what we’re going to get, comrade, if Big Brother decides there’s a major “emergency.”
So what kind of emergency would really cause the briefcase (“football”) thing to be opened and the “Easy” button to be mashed by President Obama. We worked very hard to put together a list of high level administration officials to ask this question to – then wrote our grocery list on it and lost it, so in the end, we just decided to just make up a list of possible emergencies which would cause the “Easy” button disconnect. This is what we came up with:
1. North Korea hacks into the Jiffy Lube computer system and directs the computers to inject all the new Cash for Clunkers clown cars with Cherry Coke instead of oil.
2. Iran hacks into Barney Frank’s computer and installs a piece of software which depicts Barney dancing in the purple dinosaur suit – then e-mails it to all the people the White House recently e-mailed their health-care propaganda to.
3. The new Defense Computer system becomes self-aware and decides to destroy the world and make dozens of human-killing copies of the California Governor.
4. The computers at Norad start saying things like “I can’t do that, Dave,” in that creepy compliant, 2001 Hal voice.
5. The articles on the Jolly Rogers are suddenly absolutely correct, and this scares Obama into hitting the “Easy” button purely in reflex.
6. A consortium of conservative computer programmers, discover a way to take over the net and play Gilligan’s Island re-runs 24/7.
7. Aliens arrive and decide to wipe out all of humanity – Someone will have to call up Bill Pullman for that one, because I’m not sure Obama can pull off that extemporaneous Independence Day speech on the wing of a fighter jet without a teleprompter.
8. All tele-prompters become self-aware and discover they are inexplicably attracted to porn sites.
9. All town-hall meetings suddenly are transferred to the internet – that absolutely will require the whole internet to be shut down before any hard questions are asked and answered.
10. An asteroid is discovered on a crash course with the Earth and we have to roll out Bruce Willis again to deal with it.
11. Bigfoot is suddenly discovered. I don’t know why the internet would be cut off in this case, but I’m pretty sure it would be.
12. All talk-radio personalities suddenly decided to do all of their shows on the internet instead of the airwaves.
13. A space-continuum wormhole device is discovered buried in Egypt, and when activated, turns out to be connected to a planet with an Evil Alien transvestite and a society of human slaves.
14. Lastly – in fact, the best reason for shutting down the internet would be to erase everything – eliminate all of us pesky, idiot bloggers and media outlets outside of his control.
Yep. That’s the one.
I just hope when they pop open the briefcase, that he doesn’t mistake the internet “Easy” disconnect button with the other one that launches all the nuclear missiles.
That would be a real bummer.
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Posted by Dave on August 5, 2009 · Leave a Comment
A new study by the federal government, commissioned by Rep. Henry Waxman (D-CA) and Rep. Edward Markey of (D-MA), and perhaps intended as a weapon against opponents of Pelosi’s national energy tax, has instead, blown up in their faces.
The Study by the Energy Information Administration, which provides official energy statistics from the U.S. Government itself, addresses the economic impacts of H.R. 2454, the American Clean Energy and Security Act of 2009.
This act, the televised circus-like passing in the House of Representatives, of which started the Jolly Rogers website, is a complex bill that regulates greenhouse gas emissions through various mechanisms, incentives and programs.
The study found that electric bills for the average household will increase dramatically – between 19 and 30 percent and even with the rosiest of scenarios – that is, a proliferation of clown cars across America by 2030, there will only be between a 12 and 20 percent reduction in CO2 emissions.
According to the government study, Cap and Trade “increases the cost of using energy, which reduces real economic output, reduces purchasing power, and lowers aggregate demand for goods and services. The result is that projected real gross domestic product (GDP) generally falls…”
This means, that an American household with a bill of $70 a month, will see that cost balloon to nearly $100 – and all this while they are dutifully cruising around in their clown cars, and trying to pay for these things without jobs. The study seems to agree with previous work by the Heritage Foundation and the National Black Chamber of Commerce – both which found that “cap and trade” could destroy as many as 2.5 million jobs.
In fact EIA projects total discounted GDP losses between 2012 and 2030 to be about $566 billion on the low side, with a potential loss of nearly $1,897 billion.
And it doesn’t stop there. According to the government’s own most recent study – commissioned by the very people trying to force this energy program onto the public, the whole thing requires the U.S. “significantly increase the total amount of new electric capacity due to the retirement of many existing coal-fired power plants that otherwise would be expected to continue operating beyond 2030.
So, for this wonderful utopian plan to work, the citizens have to absorb higher and higher bills, drive smaller and smaller cars, build an entire grid of new electric-producing stations and destroy all the old ones – across the entire nation. And we must do it while more and more families lose their main source of income.
Lastly – and here’s the capper – the EIA study found that this new energy substitute requires that in “all cases” site and planning processes must be changed so that they can “support a large-scale transformation of the Nation’s electricity infrastructure by 2030.”
So all those pesky public hearings which have been necessary in the past, before the government begins to build a particular project – all that would need a bit of work. Basically, we’d have to just allow the government to seize whatever land they want, so they can begin building immediately.
The study summary ends with this paragraph:
Challenges beyond 2030. As previously noted, the modeling horizon for this analysis ends in 2030. Unless substantial progress is made in identifying low- and no-carbon technologies outside of electricity generation, the ACESA emissions targets for the 2030-to-2050 period are likely to be very challenging as opportunities for further reductions in power sector emissions are exhausted and reductions in other sectors are thought to be more expensive.
So can anyone explain to me with numbers and facts like these, why this even passed through the House? Is there any explanation for even a few people to continue to support this? Is it likely that the other countries producing massive amounts of greenhouse gasses, will sign on to this kind of a plan as well? Because if you accept the global warming scenario, you have to remember the most important term in there – “global.” Without global support, a program like this in the U.S. will simply bankrupt the country – of course, we already are bankrupt. The alleged stimulus plan did that.
For the rest of you out there, just barely making it from month to month with your $70 electric bill – hold on. Just hang in there. Change will come. Not “change we can believe in,” but real change. The storm is upon us – the darkness is upon us – but tomorrow will be a new day. And we will one day breathe again as a truly free people.
And for you people in the ivory towers – you Congressmen – our alleged leadership, know this:
We are coming for you. We are coming for you all.
-We The People.
*****
The complete EIA study of the results of H.R. 2454, should it pass into law and become active are here:
http://www.eia.doe.gov/oiaf/servicerpt/hr2454/index.html
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Posted by Dave on July 30, 2009 · 1 Comment
Deficit neutral.
We’re considering health care reform at this point based upon the notion that the new Blue Dog idea being bantered about in Congress is “deficit neutral.”
I wonder how we became so frugal suddenly – just a few short months after passing an alleged stimulus plan, which carried a price tag almost 13 times the size of the national deficit prior to the last presidential election.
So, at present, we have spent almost 10 percent of that – at a little over two trillion, dollars. We are about 1 trillion, 60 billion in the hole. So why should we be worried about these “leaders” we have, tinkering with universal health care? After all, the stated price tag only adds a mere trillion or two more to our country’s balance sheet. We are already so deep in the hole, we can’t pay it back and there is nothing anyone can do about it. Read more
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Posted by Keely on July 23, 2009 · 4 Comments
One would think with the glorious praising of himself and his administration I shouldn’t be feeling the small pounding of a headache coming on in the logical part of my brain. I’m wondering if he can cure the headache he inflicted with his lofty rhetoric? I doubt it because, as he continued to pound the podium with each ridiculous claim of how great HE is doing, my head pounded harder.
Continuing to listen to his opening statement was enough to further escalate my headache. Is it ever a good idea to come out and immediately blame others or a past administration for the problems created by yourself? Evidently, it is to President Obama because, he did just that last night. He continued to blame everything on the Bush administration and refused to take any responsibility for his part in it. Read more
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Posted by CrabbyCon on July 10, 2009 · 3 Comments
Yesterday was good news for those believing in freedom, small government, and democracy. The Senate does not plan on voting for Cap and Tax until September. This delay will certainly give us more time to change minds, write letters, send emails, and melt the phones of our representatives. We must continue to do so, even whilst they are away for the month of August. The beginning of the next session begins immediately after Labor Day in which the Senate plans on voting/passing an immigration reform bill. September will be a very busy month for those of us fighting for our country. Hopefully the impact of the 9/12 tea party protest will be felt far and wide. I also hope that we do a little more – Since Congress begins the new session after Labor Day, which is the week of the massive 9/12 March on DC, why not take the week off as vacation time and engage in a sit-in on the steps of Capitol Hill as our Congress-critters come back to work for the first day after their summer vacation!? It’s time to make them realize who they work for; a good government is one that fears its people.
Tell your congressman/woman that the EPA admits Cap and Tax will not work.
The Senate Environment and Public Works Committee began their hearings on the 1,500 page Waxman-Markey cap and trade legislation Tuesday, and ranking member Senator James Inhofe (R-OK) won a startling admission from Environmental Protection Agency administrator Lisa Jackson. Inhofe produced an EPA chart generated last year during the Senate’s debate of the Lieberman-Warner cap and trade legislation. The chart showed that the carbon reductions under that bill would not materially effect global carbon concentrations in the atmosphere. Inhofe then asked Jackson if she agreed with the chart’s conclusions. Jackson replied: “I believe that essential parts of the chart are that the U.S. action alone will not impact CO2 levels.”
Also at the hearing, Energy Secretary Steven Chu said he did not agree with chart which is interesting since all the best science confirms Inhofe’s and Jackson’s conclusions. For example, a recent study of cap and trade by MIT concluded: “The different U.S. policies have relatively small effects on the CO2 concentration if other regions do not follow the U.S. lead. … The Developed Only scenario cuts only about 0.5 °C of the warming from the reference, again illustrating the importance of developing country participation.”
Michelle Malkin and Nate Silver put some great information together regarding the “softies” on cap and tax in the Senate. There is a chance to change several Democrat’s minds, especially those living in energy and coal producing states. (Don’t forget the liberal repubbies either)!
There is also some new and interesting data coming from those reading through the bill now that it has been posted. One of those interesting tidbits is the amount of money going to ACORN in a CLIMATE CHANGE bill:
“The American people will see tax dollars go to so-called community development organizations like ACORN, to teach low-income residents how to live in accord with the worldview of the Environmental Left,” scowled a news release yesterday from Congressional critics of the Cap and Trade bill.
Sure enough, there are 19 mentions of the term “community development” in the bill, but nothing specific about ACORN.
Sec. 264 of the bill is on “Low Income Community Energy Efficiency Program,” which says the feds will dole out grant money to community development organizations “to provide financing to businesses and projects that improve energy efficiency” for low-income residents.
On page 561, the bill authorizes $50 million per year for six fiscal years, so that’s $300 million in all for these kind of programs.
“I just want to know if ACORN would qualify for these grants,” said House GOP Leader John Boehner, who was the only Republican to note the ACORN issue during debate on the House floor.
If you really want to make your blood boil and find the additional goodies that were hidden in the bill go here.
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Filed under Cap and Trade, Congress, Constitution, Economy, Energy, General, Global Warming, Green, Legislation, Obama, Obama Administration, Politicians, Socialism · Tagged with Cap and Tax, Cap and Trade, Climate Change, Congress, Constitution, Economy, Global Warming, Green, Legislation, Obama, Obama Administration, Politicians, Socialism
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